Dear Mindy

Dear Mindy,

I thoroughly enjoyed reading your book, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?, several weeks ago and wanted to send a note of encouragement, as asked for in the chapter entitled Married People Need to Step It Up.

First, let me say that I agree with you about your observations on men versus boys, and that men definitely should have chest hair (Pete Sampras. That's all the evidence needed). And your childhood stories had me laughing and running to tell my husband what you'd written.

Which brings me to the point of this letter that you'll probably never know I've written to you: Marriage is great. When I'm reading a good book, I immediately share the best parts with my husband. When we're watching TV or a movie he immediately lets me know if any actor in the current program used to be on Star Trek (any series or movie of the Star Trek franchise). We fist bump regularly to acknowledge occurrences we consider to be awesome (this would be the every-day awesome, small fun things; not awesome like the Grand Canyon) and call ourselves "Team Fail" as a nickname (obviously there is a long story here, not really relevant to a short note of encouragement). His coordination has greatly improved after living with the constant threat of where-did-she-leave-her-shoes-for-me-to-trip-over-today for almost eight years, and my ability to pronounce words correctly has improved after living with a good-looking man who takes grammar seriously.

We play in a volleyball league together, talk about how cool our kids are, and considered our hour and a half drive without kids to visit friends in the hospital last Saturday as a date night. Together we have explored Ireland, hiked Mount Snowdon, stared at glaciers, gotten very muddy in Nicaragua, been speechless at the Grand Canyon, and adopted two amazing children. Together we talk about what happened at work today, what our two year old tried to feed our four month old, what bills are due this week, how behind I am on practicing the violin, and if he has any clean undershirts for work tomorrow.

Marriage is fun, and yes, that big party after the wedding ceremony is just the beginning. Maybe Shakespeare just didn't have the words, or time within the constraints of a play, to explain just how simple, complex, and wonderful it is. I think you should continue to look forward to marriage. The easy days are fun, the work put in is fun (I mean really, working on intimacy? What's not fun about that?), and I wouldn't want to spend the hard days with anyone else.

-A fan of your writing and A happily married woman