Prized Possession

The past couple of weeks I have been wearing a new bracelet at church.  It is, by far, the most beautiful thing I have ever worn.  The wristlet is blue and the charm is a yellow bluebird.  It's made of plastic and the wristlet is spiraled, so it expands and collapses to fit all sizes.  It matches every dress that I own.  I've wanted one for several years, and the Sunday after Easter this year, I got to wear it for the first time.


I had trouble paying attention during the sermon because I was so proud of wearing my bracelet today.  I kept rotating the bluebird through the spirals, and sliding the pin of the clevis holding the charm back and forth.  I couldn't help but think how beautiful it is, how blessed I am, to be wearing this bracelet.


I can only wear it on Sundays, while at church.  Today I wore it to our small group class (aka Sunday School), to help an eleven year old girl get ready to be baptized, and to our main service.  No one said anything about the bracelet, but I was ever conscious of it being on my wrist. 


When I have the bracelet I feel content and grateful; but I don't mind taking it off.  I know that I get to wear it again.


This bracelet means that we have a child in our church nursery.
....we have a child
....we have a child that is at church with us
....we have a child that is loved by our entire church family
....we have a child that is being held by Miss Joanna and Miss Vanessa
....we have a child that will learn about Jesus

Photo courtesy of Sara L.

Open Letter to My Love

Dear Love of My Life,


I know that you are at the back door.  If I am in the house, you are always at the back door.  Unless of course, the door is open and you have the freedom to wander in and out, and then you choose to roll around in the grass, basking in sunlight. 

You do not have to proclaim I'm at the back door and would love to come inside and give you a kiss!  And give Squirmy a kiss!  I'm at the back door!


You do not have to fling your bone at the door, even though you realize it makes a very loud noise heard throughout the house, to announce I am at the back door and want to know if R is inside.  And I want my other toys.  And I want to sleep on the rug.  And I want to know where R is.  You are my love and I know where you are. 

You do not have to jump and exclaim Shelby Ann is barking - she is barking at a bird!  She is barking at a lizard!  She is barking at a cloud!  Let me in!  Let me in!  Although I am sorry that the lizard hunter does startle and terrify you sometimes with her persistance in keeping our back yard free of other critters.


Please know that I still love you and consider you the most handsome.  But that if I am busy with Squirms, your new favorite person to try and kiss, I will not be coming to the door.  

If you are smart, which I fully believe you are (handsome and smart), you will teach Squirmy to open the door for you.  


Love,
the person who gives you a hug each night before bed (or the person that you think each night is going to scratch your belly but just ends up giving you something humans call a hug)

Tuesday

my self-assigned tasks for today include cleaning and re-seasoning a cast iron skillet, ironing laundry, and writing thank-you notes.
so far I've been to lunch with two different sets of friends (yes, I ate twice) and baked cookies so I could eat cookie dough.  and now I'm writing this.
the cookie dough was delicious.


also, squirms had another "first" today - poop spread out of her diaper, on her, her clothes, and her father while we were out in public today.  R and I had lunch with some coworker/friends and were enjoying ourselves and showing off our very well-behaved (if babies can be considered well-behaved) angelic looking child when R, who was holding squirms, says, I can feel something, I think I will have to go home and change pants.  I thought, no big deal, probably just a tiny leak out the side of the diaper.  A couple of minutes later, after he turned her around so I could check and see, we hurriedly left cash on the table and walked quickly to the parking lot, trying not to gross out the other restaurant patrons.  Because it was everywhere - Squirmy's bloomers, dress, back and R's pants, shirt, and now hands.  The nice couple we were dining with walked out several minutes later to find us hunched over a naked and partially cleaned baby laying in the trunk of our car (really, though, the trunk is the best place - flat, more roomie than the back seat).  
Lessons learned:  carrying cash is very helpful for quick exits; that extra outfit I've been carting around was useful; after surviving adoption and appendicitis in the same week, one poop explosion in a local restaurant isn't really that bad.


one day last week I hung out all day with a lawyer (my college roommate) and a doctor (R's college roommate's wife).  i know this sounds like the start of a joke, but it's not - really.  annie pant's visit overlapped with mr. and dr. E coming to see squirmy.  forgive me, but i love calling them mr. and dr. because i find a lot of joy in pointing out that dr. E is a doctor.  she is super smart and it's just fun to call people doctor.  their visit deserves an entire post, with photos.  and i can't access the photos right now.


which reminds me.  i'm thankful that my husband can surprise me with gifts that i love but would never have thought i would love.  example, two years ago he gave me a nook for my birthday, which was a huge risk, giving an e-reader to a girl who worked in book repair and with special collection books during college.  but i love it and use it all the time.  same thing this year, he surprised me with a lap top.  and i've been using it voluntarily!  the downside is picture sharing between lap tops doesn't work exactly how we thought it might.  so no pictures today.  post script:  i probably shouldn't share this but one of R's nicknames for me is little luddite.

Annie Pants Comes to Town

Annie Pants.  Annie, pants!
<Yes, there is an amazing story behind this nickname of my college roommate.  No, I won't detail it here, mainly because while I think it's amazing, I don't think anyone else actually will.  That's true of all great nicknames I believe.>


The girl - or woman, since we are now both 29 gasp - who is a part of 99% of my favorite Auburn memories came to visit us this week.  And while I like to think she came to see me, I could tell as soon as she spoke to squirmy who she really came to visit.  And, again, I was overwhelmed at the immediate acceptance and love our family and friends have shown to our new addition.   
<Side note for families and friends of adoptive families:  It is really strange, even though you're waiting for a child, to get a phone call and go meet the baby that will be your child.  Your child forever.  It is incredibly encouraging for your family and friends to be completely in love with said child once they are home.>


Oddly enough, two naive freshmen girls have similar types of conversations as two women who have just become mothers - basically just trying to figure what the what is going on.  


I really enjoyed having AnniePants visit for several days.  It made me remember being terrified and excited to go meet lots of new people at the BCM welcome party the first week of college, how hanging out with her and her then-boyfriend-now-husband was better than any movie or tv show, and how wonderful it has been to have such a sincere friend post college while we've both experienced work, marriage, and now becoming moms.  


Plus, she is just fun.  And I introduced her to the best burrito ever.

Yesterday, the expecting AnniePants and Squirmy

AnniePants on her wedding day and me as a married woman of one month!

Camping while Auburn students - me, AnniePants, and AP (yes, the photo says 2004)

Hopefully in another eleven years I'll have some more photos to add.

Nursery Art Work

The nursery - which has quickly become my favorite room in our home, possibly because I love everything we have put in there and the colors are so calming - has lots of art work made by our friends and their kids.  I really like surrounding her with things people have made for her.

My bridal portrait no longer has a home - this went up today in the hallway.  Our dear friend SL, a transplant to central Florida from Indiana, took squirmy's newborn photos and I added some of our favorites to this frame.

Made by her friends - the top painting was done by a very talented five month old and the lower drawing was created for squirmy by our favorite future engineer (who is currently in the first grade, I think).  R thinks the finger painting can be considered real art and possibly go in a museum (the artist's grandmother agrees).

This one is technically for me - I LOVE Eeyore and Pooh.  ALM's wonderful mother painted this - yes, she painted this!  I was so impressed and I love the colors.  It's perfectly situated so I can stare at it from the chair.

MMD painted this tree for squirmy so her family and friends could add their thumb prints and names.  Squirms is lucky to have MMD around since my creative skills are, well, non-existant. 

Easter Weekend in Pictures

As narrated by Squirmy

Why is my grandfather studying at the beach?  I thought we were here for a birthday party?

I want the bottle.  Why are we pausing?

He was talking about tax season to me....so sleepy....

Odd things happen when I nap

These two LOVE it when I nap - they get attention!

Awesome - I never get put down

Check out my bunny feet

So tired....why won't they let me go inside?

Seriously, why won't they let me go inside?

My parents are weird

Her First Tea Party

My dear friends ALM and MMD threw squirmy a lovely tea party this last Saturday.

There were bright, pretty flowers

And beautiful, dainty treats.

Squirmy's extended family, church family, and my coworkers all came to have tea with her.

She slept the entire time.

Side note from my attempt at a delicately worded blog post:  I had to add this photo with this expression, while not a good photo of me, reminds me of my mother....I can make fun of myself.  And my mother.

Thank you ALM and MMD for your hard work putting together this tea party!  

(I'm not sure what all this hard work included, but I found these photos on my camera and whatever y'all are doing looks pretty hard)

  

The 15th

When the 14th turned into the 15th this February, I was awake packing for R and me to travel across the state to meet our potential birth mom and daughter and R was lying on the living room floor trying to find a comfortable position for his "stomach ache".  


Now, at this point in our adoption story we had been through labor before.  I was prepared to wait to hear about the birth because in our experience once a birth mother has surgery to deliver in the middle of the night, texting the adoption agency with details of the delivery may not be her first priority.  And she might be unconscious.    


We did not get an update that night, but I did make a trip to Wal Mart for stomach medicine for my dear husband.  


We attempted to sleep.  At six that morning we got up to leave for our drive across central Florida.  That didn't happen.  


The nearby Urgent Care clinic opened at nine, so we napped for a couple of hours and then I acted like an adult and called our vet so Tanner and Shelbs had a place to stay while we were gone and arranged their transport (thank you JWH!).  We had a short wait before R was taken back at the clinic and the PA gently explained that he had two options:  get a CT scan and have surgery to take out his appendix, or get a CT scan and be prescribed medicine to help this "stomach ache".  R then gently explained that the PA would have to tell his wife about the CT scan and delay of at least four hours because he wasn't going to tell her they weren't about to leave to go meet their daughter and birth mother (he did end up telling me). 


Elsewhere in the sunshine state, our social worker was on her way to meet the birth mom and knew we were at the clinic.  And I considered going to a lunch training session at work while R had the scan done....but I didn't.  We both felt confident in our adoption agency and I was comforted that the pregnancy counselor and our social worker would be with the birth mom.  One of the cool things about our agency, in our opinion, is that they are with you during the entire placement process.


R sent a text message letting me know that the scan was done and we'd probably be able to leave soon.  Then the nurse took me back to see him and mentioned the paperwork and scan data needed to be taken back to the doctor so R could be admitted to the hospital.  I was a bit confused but just went with it.


The pain seemed to escalate rather quickly while we waited for this nice doctor to admit R, and then for the nice people in admitting to fill out paperwork, and then for the nice volunteer with the wheel chair to come take him to a room.  This was the most difficult part of the day, watching my husband in so much pain and not being able to help.  


I was super impressed with his surgeon who came to see him in the room before a nurse even got there.  He was to go to surgery prep immediately.  


Now.  I'll spare you the details of surgery prep, but we are pretty sure this is when the appendix actually ruptured.


The second hardest part of the day came at this point.  R was on several drugs and heavily sedated.  Our social worker called with very important news that required a decision.  I put her on speaker, but when asked later, R didn't remember the conversation.  After I hung up the phone I actually cried.  I believe adoption can be a beautiful thing, but it's beauty shares the stage with how difficult it can be, how you face decisions that you have never imagined even having to consider.  And, I broke not because of the news, but because I received it alone.  


It was over quickly though.  I do not normally cry.  A talent that proved immeasurable during my time in the space business area at work.


R's surgery was successful and I had some wonderful and thoughtful people visit me while he was in the OR.  I also had some pretty great mushroom barely soup and a milkshake some kind friends brought me.


It's an odd feeling - seeing your strong, dependable husband hooked to equipment being lifted from one hospital bed to another because he is too weak and too unconscious to help himself.  I'm sure many people can understand.  I remember seeing my father after surgery and my grandfather after his stroke.  It changes your view of the world.


Now, a while back I opened the story of squirmy's adoption and R's appendicitis with an elevator story.  After R was back in his room, minus an appendix and with his charming roommate whom might have served our country during WWII, I went home to sleep for a bit (after the nice ladies helped me find the lobby; who knows how long I would have wandered around the fourth floor looking for the exit).  


Aren't you happy the 15th is finally over? 

Happy Birthday H

The photogenic sister

Happy Birthday to my younger sister H.  I'll stay away from any sappy remarks, because she is currently visiting us in central Florida and our family doesn't do sappy remarks face to face - much easier when people are eight to twelve hours away.

AMC gives that look a lot at all three of us

I will try and say something nice.  Sometimes (and by sometimes, I mean all the time) I think she is more mature than me - I respect how sure and confident of her beliefs and opinions she is. 

Rare smile from AMC

She also has a rare ability to look great in anything she wears - cocktail dress, sweat pants, crazy new fad.

The only one of us who can pull off a pose

And fun facts:  she is a softee when it comes to animals and she goes to bed earlier than our Granny.

She looks like this a lot

Ten Things

1.  Podcasts of sermons from our church:  http://www.fbcmel.org/sermons/


2.  Mini Eggs.  The second best part of Easter.  (The first of course being the reason for Easter)


3.  Squirmy's pitiful, I already know how to use my bottom lip, look.

4.  Eating lunch with ALM and MMD.

5.  These faces.

   


6.  The book, The Greater Journey:  Americans in Paris, by David McCullough.  http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/greater-journey-david-mccullough/1100201970?ean=9781416571766&itm=1&usri=the+greater+journey+americans+in+paris

7.  Mini Eggs.  Yes, they get to be on the list twice.

8.  My Morning Mate Tea.  Currently how I get anything done at our house.  http://www.teavana.com/the-teas/mate-teas/p/my-morning-mate-tea

9.  This.

10.  Sunscreen, lip balm, and color - in one.  Makes switching between diaper bags and purses much easier.  Plus, my mom would be proud of me for wearing color.  http://www.sephora.com/browse/product.jhtml?id=P244104&categoryId=B70