I find myself thinking it would be great to go back to work someday. Like tomorrow.
Or that my mom should go ahead and retire. And move next door.
Or that it's a good idea to start my day off by locking myself in the bathroom and waiting for R to get home.
I haven't yet figured out how to up my game.
Extra coffee, reading parenting book chapters on discipline and behavior expectations for toddlers, joining a MOPs (mothers of preschoolers) group, building arm muscle, and taking time to stare at their beautiful faces when they're still are things that I'm trying.
What? Oh, yes. I should probably try stepping up my prayer time. Good idea.
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The above was written last week....but still applies even though my angels both wanted to be rocked to sleep this afternoon and were so sweet and cuddly before their naps.
This morning was a MOPs meeting day. The discussion topic today was Vulnerability. I've been mulling over that concept. The video speaker today is of the opinion that humans being vulnerable to a small group of other humans (friends) is good for mental health. The small group I was with this morning had varying levels, or definitions, of what being vulnerable to others looks like; and one woman just needed to talk so we didn't actually discuss Vulnerability very much.
After mulling, and the grocery store and preschool pick up, I looked up the word vulnerable.
Cambridge English Dictionary says: able to be easily physically, emotionally, or mentally hurt, influenced, or attacked.
Merriam-Webster says: capable of being physically or emotionally wounded; open to attack or damage; liable to increased penalties but entitled to increased bonuses after winning a game in contract bridge.
The word vulnerable is an adjective, and vulnerability is a noun.
I didn't find vulnerable or vulnerability in the concordance of my study Bible. I think the speaker was using Vulnerability as a concept of being open, honest, and truthful concerning ourselves, and then sharing that with others at the risk of being judged, and hurt by others.
This left me with more questions and perhaps some opinions.
Is it Christ-like to be vulnerable? If yes, with how many others, and are there different levels? Is posting a picture of a messy living room on Facebook a vulnerability if you don't care that your living room is messy? Does this MOPs group play bridge? Can we be vulnerable to others if we are not first vulnerable before God? Why do people like to declare that they are different? Isn't everyone? Oh, now I've derailed.
Perhaps it is healthy to be capable of being hurt by others....I think Simon and Garfunkel may have a song about this. Perhaps it is unhealthy to be capable of being hurt by everyone you meet.
Conclusions. That may or may not concern the topic of Vulnerability.
-I do not like the phrase "being real". What does this mean? Are people who are not "being real" robots? Does "being real" mean that you have to be a "hot mess" all the time (I adore the phrase "hot mess" by the way)? Does "being real" mean that you cannot try to be more organized, arrive places on time, wear pearl earrings, and post happy photos of your children on Facebook? Can we just use the phrase "be honest"?
-I think vulnerability between friends should involve conversations and time. And not an open blog post or Facebook.
-I may not be getting the concept of make new friends if I feel the need to call R and talk to him about what I'm feeling after spending two hours with other women in my life stage.
